Journey to Hefei, China Part I: Traveling with Infant

Hefei is a small city by Chinese standards (4,789,000 compared to Boston’s 589,000) in Anhui Province in China.  That's where Ken's grandparents have been living for the past decade and a half, when the University of Science and Technology invited Ken's grandfather to help expand their chemistry department (to include free radicals) as something equivalent to a professor emeritus.  

The stay in China this past week was a short one, but it took a lot of preparation and the actual journey to get there and back was 28 hours door-to-door each way.  Ken really did not have the vacation days to go, but it was something we had to do.  Ken's grandmother had a stroke recently that paralyzed the entire left side of her body.  She is getting weaker day by day, with a worsening lung infection that is only being suppressed by myriad antibiotics but can never fully recover because her paralysis left her unable to expel phlegm from her lungs that a healthy person would under normal conditions.  It was a trip to bid her farewell and to have Esther meet her.

Although it was only a week-long trip, I have many thoughts about it that I want to record.  This blog entry will focus on traveling with a baby from Boston to Hefei.

Traveling with Infant

We had to start preparing for this trip a few months ago because we had to get a passport for Esther and then China visas for all three of us.  We decided on coach tickets for just Ken and myself and have Esther as an infant in lap from Boston to Shanghai.  The cost for each adult ticket came out to be a little over a thousand each, while the infant "lap" ticket was about 10% of the adult ticket.  Friends had told me earlier about the bulkhead seats and bassinets, and so we decided this was the most economical option.  To get to Hefei, we had the options of flying domestically or taking the train.  I was a little hesitant about the train, due to Ken's parents' exaggerated (and unfounded) concerns over difficulty in reserving train tickets and baby kidnappers, but the fact that the domestic flight schedules did not work well with our flight back to Boston made me agree to opt for a train between Hefei and Shanghai.

What We Packed

I had worried over what to bring, how to safely feed the baby, how to put her to sleep and keep her from crying while traveling, and even how to get to Logan Airport.  We wanted to travel light to allow us to take the train in China, and so we only took 2 carry-on rolling suitcases and one backpack as a diaper bag.  I had Esther in an Ergo baby carrier (for convenience, for it is the only thing that makes her fall asleep, and to deter the aforementioned imagined kidnappers).

An infant car seat is just way too cumbersome to carry.  Although I want to record our visit visually, bringing my whole Canon 5D set up with lenses is just too ostentatious and impractical.  Instead, I relied on my iPhone.  I also packed my Kindle.

We saw that the TSA allows liquid formula, and so we brought a lot of it, as well as a good number of bottles for formula packets (which we planned to mix with Dasani water bought after the security gate).  I do not trust Chinese baby formula (after the melamine incident back in 2008), and I do not entirely trust even boiled tap water in China (not knowing the lead content in the water).  We packed about half a week's worth of clothes and extra onesies because of the availability of a washer at Ken's grandparents' place. 

Before we left, I shipped a box of supplies (powdered and liquid formula, Bounty paper towels, disposable diapers, etc) via USPS international priority ($58) expecting to get it by the time we get there.

We also packed some wipes and about 30 Pampers Dry Max diapers because they seem to keep the baby feeling dry the longest.  We figured 12 each way would be enough, while we would rely on the less heavy duty disposable diapers from the package we shipped. 

Finally, we packed some gifts to bring to the relatives.


Getting to the Airport without a Car Seat

And so, before our trip, I called up our local cab company and asked about taking us with a baby.  They were very reluctant but told us to call back the night before.  We did our due diligence and looked up the MA state law about a rumored taxi exemption for the child passenger restraint law.  We found it quite interesting that the exemption indeed exists but is stated in a very roundabout, ghetto way.  Notice how they don't say outright that taxis are exempt, but they say that they will not fine taxi drivers?

An operator of a motor vehicle who violates the provisions of this section shall be subject to a fine of not more than twenty-five dollars; provided, however, that said twenty-five dollar fine shall not apply to an operator of a motor vehicle licensed as a taxi cab not equipped with a child passenger restraint device.

Anyhow, we decided to rough it and save a few bucks.  We took the T at 5:30-ish before sunrise.  I was surprised at how many early commuters there were, though it was not a full train by any means.


What Worked

The bottles of Dasani we bought after the security gate and the powder packets worked very well.  Esther likes her milk warm, and the flight attendants on our Continental flight were very helpful in warming up the milk with hot water baths.

We did all right changing her in the airplane bathrooms, which were equipped with simple changing tables you pull down from the wall, right above the toilet.

When we arrived at Pudong Airport, we were pleasantly surprised by the priority treatment we got because we were carrying a baby.  The guard led us straight to the front of the border control line.

Our schedule worked pretty well according to plan.  After we flew into Pudong International Airport, we took an hour-long cab ride to the brand new Hongqiao Train Station for the Chinese-designed (Japanese-consulted) bullet train that ran between Shanghai and Hefei.  We were able to buy Class B reserved seats, which were nice and comfortable, with a lot of leg room and seats that lean pretty far back.  It would have been great, if Esther hadn't cried the whole 3.5 hours on the train.  She was exhausted and sweating profusely in the humidity and heat, and the air conditioning was not strong enough to her liking, though it worked just fine for me.  You cannot buy tickets more than 6 days in advance, and so we had to buy the return trip tickets separately from Hefei, and when we did so we got Class A reserved seats, which had stronger air conditioning and slightly more lumbar support.  Esther slept during the whole return trip in the stronger air conditioning.

We sterilized all of Esther's bottles every night by boiling them after washing with detergent and rinsing very thoroughly.  After we used up the 3 large liquid formula bottles, we used the Dasani water we brought from the States.  When we ran out, we bought a 4 liter bottle of Nongfu Brand spring water from a local supermarket. I had done my research in advance, and Nongfu appears to be the biggest Chinese brand of spring water.  Even so, we did not use the water straight from the bottle. We boiled it first before mixing the formula.  Esther seemed completely fine with it.

The Ergo Baby Carrier was a key part of the trip.  Esther simply would not go to sleep without being in a sling. 

The iPhone provided all the camera equipment and entertainment we needed.  With it I took many stills and videos of Ken's grandparents with Esther.  I was able to read about Hans Christen Andersen's life as well as some of my favorite fairy tales written by him from a free book I got on the Nook app for the iPhone.  I started reading The Black Swan by Nassim Taleb on the Kindle app as well.  Ken's grandparents' campus apartment building had free WiFi and I was able to check my emails.  However, Facebook and Twitter are not accessible from China, which I didn't know until this past week.  In our last trip to China, we bought a simm card with prepaid minutes and used it with our old Motorola Razr phone, but this time, Ken just used his iPhone for calls within China.

I spent a lot of time worrying about Esther's ears during take-off and landing, but it was not a problem at all.  I tried to feed her during those moments, but at times, she wasn't hungry and her ears didn't seem to be affected that much.

The Airborne kept us from getting ill full-fledged during our stay in China, though we started feeling scratchiness in our throats on our way to Shanghai.  We also hardly slept while in China (Ken even less so because he had to take care of more family matters regarding his grandparents), which lowered our immunity.  We're still taking Airborne now, but Ken has actually developed a cough. 

I'm really glad we did not have any more luggage than we did because it would have made our traveling a lot more difficult, with longer wait time at baggage claim.



What Went Wrong

Just when you need it to rely on it the most, the postal system does not deliver.  The package of supplies that we sent ourselves never came during our stay, and we had to buy more disposable diapers from a local supermarket.  We were just informed by Ken's aunt that it arrived a few hours after we left his grandparents' home.  I shipped the package from the US on August 30 and it arrived in China on September 15th.  Again, this was International Priority at $58, with content value at about $45.  We asked Ken's aunt to give away our supplies to any baby she might know so we don't waste it.

The trip to the Chinese supermarket for extra diapers was an interesting though.  We ended up buying a pack of 28-count Pampers for 53RMB (which is $7.88 USD).  I noticed how there is very little difference in pricing compared to the US, even though, according to the Forbes blog, the average (not median) household income in China is $10,220, compared with $84,300 in the United States.  How could the Chinese afford disposable diapers at all?  The local Chinese brands are all priced comparably as well.  Ken asked his cousin how this was possible, and the answer was very insightful into the lives of Chinese families.  Most Chinese couples both work full-time, but their babies are taken care of by older members of the family who almost always live nearby if they don't actually shared the same quarters.  The Chinese are willing to spend money on their babies, because they want what's best for them.  I should point out that the Pampers we got are a lot flimsier than the Dry Max kind that I like, even though the actual price is not much different.  Proctor & Gamble must be laughing all the way to the bank.

Esther did not like the bassinet at the bulkhead seat provided by the plane.  This was a surprise to us.  We never figured out what it was that made her dislike it so much.  A possibility is that it was fastened to a wall adjoining the lavatory, and every time someone flushed the toilet (which was often) she would wake up crying.  I didn't bother putting her in the bassinet on our return trip.  I kept her in the Ergo the whole time.  The bassinet was handy as a storage bin nonetheless.  If I had to do the same trip again, I would definitely bring an inflatable travel pillow.  I really hardly slept on either 15-hour flight, and both my neck and back were killing me.

While the Dasani bottles worked on our way to China (and the extra bottles were handy while in China as well), when we tried to bring 2 bottles of Evian (total costs $90 RMB, which is $13.38 USD) onto the inbound flight, they were confiscated at a final boarding manual security check.  Apparently the TSA does not allow inbound flights to have any water brought on board.  We had to use water on the plane.  Luckily, Esther did not seem to have any issues afterward.

I'd like to make a note about cabs in Shanghai.  The ride from Pudong Airport to the Hongqiao Train Station must have been one of the scariest car rides I've ever taken.  The cabbie sped in and out of lanes and I thought he was going to feed us to a truck at one point.  He seemed to have no regard for the fact that there is a baby in the car.  He did, however, complete the trip in about an hour.

Finally, I would try to avoid eating the "fresh" fruits and salads that come with every airplane meal.  Both Ken and I had stomach problems on our return flight after having eaten them.


Home Sweet Home

On our trip back, we shared our row of bulkhead seats with a woman traveling by herself from Shanghai with her ten-month-old baby.  I was amazed and humbled by her bravery.

We hailed a cab from Logan back home because we were just too tired for the T.  The cab driver did not even utter a word about the baby.

Our trip took 28 hours door-to-door each way.  I'm glad we made the journey, but I'm glad it's over.  On our way to Shanghai we flew over the Atlantic, and on our way back, the Pacific.  Our little girl circumnavigated the globe at age 6 months!

Favorite Baby Products

There are so many baby products out there that it's really hard to know what to spend your money on.  I've wasted a few bucks buying the wrong stuff.  Four and a half months into my job as a mom now, I have a better idea of what I like.

1. Baby Carrier – ERGOBaby.  My husband really likes the Moby Wrap, but I like the convenience and comfort of the ERGOBaby.  It's a bit pricey, ranging from $105 to $120, not including the infant insert, but the comfort and good craftsmanship is well worth it. There's also the possibility of buying them used off Craigslist or eBay.
2. Stroller  (a) BabyTrend Snap N' Go.  The Snap N' Go is a wonderful stroller.  There are many reasons why I like this product, the most important being the ability to, well, snap the carseat into it and go.  This is important because my baby usually naps during a car ride and I can transfer her, carseat and all, into the Snap N' Go without waking her.  For an inexpensive stroller (around $70), it navigates surprisingly smoothly.  AND it folds up  and fits nicely into a small car like my Corolla.  The storage basket and the cup holders are a bonus. (b) Bugaboo Frog.  I was appalled at the price of this stroller (retails for around $700), but I got it for free, and so I was eager to test out why there is so much hype about it.  I was amazed by the sturdiness of its metal frame construction and its minimalist aesthetics.  The wheels navigate really smoothly -- the stroller comes with its own air pump for its inflatable back tires.  The frame can be used with a bassinet or seat.  So far, we've only used the bassinet, which comes with a beautiful quilted sleeping bag lining and canopy.  The bassinet on the stroller is so comfortable that it is very easy to rock my baby to sleep in it inside our home.  I think this stroller is great for folks who live in the city and won't have to worry much about constantly loading the bulky thing in and out of a car (it does not fit into my Corolla).  Also, the shock-absorbing tires provide a smooth ride over bumps and cracks in urban sidewalks.  We live in a fairly walkable neighborhood, and I like to do light grocery shopping on foot with this stroller.   It does not come with a cup holder, but you can order it as an accessory for a hefty price of $25.
3. Baby Wipes – Bounty Paper Towels + water.  We were skeptical when the nurse at the hospital told us to stay away from baby wipes and instead use Bounty and water because they cause rashes.  I think we were being optimistic because we had already received so many boxes as gifts from our registry.  Besides, we got the kind for sensitive skin.  But the hospital nurse was right.  Our baby developed really bad rashes.  Now, we cut up each sheet of Bounty into 4 squares and wet it with a spray bottle.  We still have a lot of commercial baby wipes, and I use them when I have to travel.  But the rashes are gone.
4. Disposable Diapers – Target store brand (some sizes are hard to find).  I've come to realize that there is very little reason to use Pampers or Huggies, except for the fact that they're widely available.  In fact, Pampers and  Huggies often leak desiccant crystals that I find disturbing.  The Target store brand diapers do not have this problem, and they are amazingly economical: $6.16-6.49 (50 count in size 1 and 42 count in size 2).  It makes me wonder how much of the Pampers or Huggies' licensed animal characters (e.g., Winnie the Pooh or Cookie Monster) you're paying for when you buy them.  Also, the sizes of the Target diapers run a little larger, so my baby fits into a size 1 in these and a size 2 in Huggies/Pampers.
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   Cloth Diapers – gDiapers.  It occurred to me that my baby used 1,000 disposable diapers in a little over 3 months.  The thought is disturbing, and I began to look into cloth diapers.  I started with the old-fashioned diaper cloths (which are great to have as burp cloths regardless of whether you use them as diapers), but I soon found out that my baby gets a rash from the urine-soaked 100% cotton material.  I invested $50 in the gDiapers system (2 gently used covers from eBay and 1 new + 6 gCloth inserts from Babies R'Us).  It's not cheap, and she can easily go through all 6 inserts in a day.  But the gCloths are well crafted with a layer of microfleece to keep her skin from getting irritated and the rest of it is made with cotton and hemp.  The system  has yet to pay off, but I'm looking into using other substitute inserts to work with it.
   
   
6. Changing Pad Liner – Any brand of doggy training pads in large size.  We cut these wee wee pads in half and place them on top of our changing table mattress to minimize washing the changing table covers (of which we only have two).  They are a lot cheaper than the ones sold specifically for this purpose in the diaper aisle.

I'm sure this list will expand as I have more experience.

RIP, Loki the Cat

Loki passed away suddenly yesterday from what I gather was a stroke and subsequent cardiac arrest.  I just want to take a moment to remember him while it's peaceful in the house.

I adopted him in April 1997 with his brother Apollo, an orange tabby, when I was living in Tokyo.  He was born to an English mother and a Japanese father.  The mother was owned by an English family who let her roam about the streets of Tokyo unspayed and later returned with her to England right after she had her litter, which they left behind with a friend.

Loki was all white with light green eyes and a semi-bobbed, crooked tail, which I attribute to his having a Japanese father, since there are many bobbed tailed cats in Japan.   He was the most gentle cat I have ever known.  All thirteen years of his life, I never heard him hiss.  The only times he bit were when he was playful.

Loki lived up to his name.  He was mischievous and stole food from us often.  No meal we prepared was safe from him if left unguarded for one minute.

He had a series of illnesses over the past few years, but he's finally pain-free now.

Apollo is sad today.  He walks around meowing loudly and comes to me often for solace.  We miss Loki.

THE BLIND SIDE by Michael Lewis – Book Review

The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis


My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I saw the movie starring Sandra Bullock first and loved her in it, and MONEYBALL has been sitting on my to-read list for a couple of years now. When I found out that the movie was actually based on a Michael Lewis book, I decided to read THE BLIND SIDE. I'm glad I did. The book is far superior to the movie, which is a bit too sentimental in hindsight.

Michael Lewis is a wonderful writer. At times his prose is so rhythmic that your pulse quickens as you visualize the action he describes on the football field. He writes his characters with respect and compassion. He does not get sappy (unlike the movie), but I still feel emotional enough to choke up at certain passages.  He has an honest voice that is not laced with hypocrisy.

I should be reading MONEYBALL soon.

View all my reviews >>

Breastfeeding Zealots

The little one had her first encounter with the swimming pool today.  That didn't go so well.  She did not like the feel of the water.  I'm hoping to try again on a ninety-degree day.

My friend and I brought our babies into the water and struck up a conversation with two other mothers with young babies.  We exchanged the usual platitudes and ages of our respective babies.

Then, one of the other moms suddenly asked my friend if she's breastfeeding her baby, to which she replied she did, but due to her baby's allergies to many foods that she was eating via her breast milk, the pediatrician recommended that she started on a non-cow's milk formula.

"Oh.  Mine are both all breast.  The older one was breastfed until she was one."

She didn't ask me any questions at all about breastfeeding.  When my friend and I analyzed the conversation later, it dawned on me that she probably saw that I was feeding my baby a ready-to-feed Similac bottle and wanted to show her superiority over me.

I guess I'm offended by the maliciousness of it, but I'm just more annoyed and partially amused that someone would latch on (pun intended) to breastfeeding as a means of feeling superior to another.  Some of us tried very hard, took a breastfeeding class before giving birth, hired an expensive lactation consultant postpartum, own the most expensive breast pump available to consumers but still, for whatever health reasons, cannot breastfeed.  I have discussed this issue with other moms who had trouble as well, and ALL of us, at some point, felt immense guilt and agony over our inability to breastfeed.  Some of us were trying so hard that our babies were literally starving because we dared not give them formula.  And we finally did when we summoned up the courage to tell people to fuck off because our babies are hungry.

Hey, why the hell wouldn't we want to breastfeed our babies?  Because we want to spend a few extra thousand dollars to feed our babies an artificial substance that is supposedly inferior?

We KNOW that breast is best.  We KNOW that breast milk offers more natural immunities.  We KNOW that one study shows that breastfed babies on average score a few points higher on the IQ test.

But with an ignorant parent like that woman, I don't think those few extra points would help the baby's IQ.

Okay, I feel better now.

My Response to "Rent a White Guy" in The Atlantic Magazine

Earlier in the day, I posted a link in Facebook to the article "Rent a White Guy" from The Atlantic Magazine, and I just want to clarify a few things.  I didn't post it to show people that the Chinese are evil and dishonest.  The Western press has already done enough of that since the beginning of the Cold War.  I didn't post it to reaffirm stereotypes about China.

Yes, there are some very dishonest Chinese businesses out there, but, gosh, people, please look beyond the obvious.  Was this dishonesty appalling? Yes.  That's not really shocking news.  The irony here is how white men are treated like gods in China.  You don't even have to have any skills.  Just as long as you're  a white Caucasian male in a suit, they can use you. All the while, Americans think the Chinese are constantly working against America and the West.  Au contraire, they WORSHIP the West.  And if there are people they are working against, it's other Chinese people.

My point is that even Chinese people in the People's Republic of China do not seem to have pride in things Chinese.  They need to put a foreign stamp on it to elevate its worth.  When I posted this as a link, people seemed to have missed this point. 

I am not Asian-American

I've come to the conclusion that I really dislike the term Asian-American, and I will, from now on, refrain from saying it personally.  I won't be offended by others who use it (especially those who simply aren't knowledgeable enough to tell the different ethnic groups apart), and I will only get annoyed at first-generation, American-born and/or raised Chinese who are talking about something specifically Chinese but apply it to all Asians. Because they should know better.

Asian-American-ness to me is useless and inaccurate.

When people say Asian in the Asian-American context, they are often referring to people with yellow skin and slanted eyes--East or Southeast Asian (Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, etc.) and the brown-skinned, Caucasian-featured South Asian  are often not included.  And oftentimes, Americans of Chinese descent use the term to speak for Americans of Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese descent when they really have no right to do so.  Japan, Korea, and Vietnam are pretty different from China culturally and historically.  And even among the Chinese, there is a split, but I will talk about that another time.  Perhaps what bothers me the most is when a white Caucasian person makes fun of a person from China, and it is those who call themselves Asian-Americans (noticeably many Chinese-American women) who are the most eager to agree and the first to laugh.  They laugh because they want to make sure people know that they are different--they are Asian-American, not Chinese. In reality, they're only sabotaging the cause to end discrimination.

Theoretically, one would think that an Asian-American identity would give us more political power and create a block vote, but I think we are way too divided to have that be effective at all, and so I abandon that thought altogether.  I applaud minorities who become firsts in their political positions--persons such as President Barack Obama, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Governor Bobby Jindal, Congressman Joseph Cao, and gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley.  But I believe their accomplishments are based on merit, not race.

I am proud to be American, and I am proud to be Chinese.  But I am not Asian-American.